Be Like Vic: Teach in Thailand with Heart—and Heal with Self-Care

Hey welcome one and all! You decided to move to Thailand! YAAAAAAAAAAAAY! Maybe you moved to Bangkok and you have a brand new city to explore, new people to meet, new places to hang out, new food to try, and a new culture to learn.

It’s all great! Rainbows and lollipops and all the great things in the world! But that really doesn’t last forever, and the “new car smell” fades. When you’re on your own, teaching in a foreign country like Thailand, a long way from home, the loneliness can really set in.

Starting the Journey in Thailand

After living here for over five years, mostly in or around Bangkok, I’ve had a chance to see more than just the good parts of the country. Every place has its complexities, but I’ve learned there’s a way to navigate them. You can become a stronger, more resilient person and continue to find joy in your life here.

Facing Loss and Lessons Learned

I’ve had my share of challenging experiences, from losing a bit of money (3,000 baht only. Thank cheesus) to a situation that made me question my judgment, the direction of my life, and how I was able to let a person into my life who had caused me so much emotional damage. From reading this, you can tell I have recovered from the heaviest of the experiences (I’m still waiting for that 3,000 baht I lent an ex, though. It’s been many years 😅).

The recovery was rough, and it took several months to get to some semblance of my normal emotional state. This occurrence would have been enough to sour anyone’s relationship with the country they have emigrated to. On top of that, I am here alone. I have friends back in the US, but I couldn’t always speak to them when those heavy moments occurred.

Loneliness and Temporary Friendships

Something else that you learn after your first two years is how lonely it is living here. You may make some friends with your colleagues and people you meet while you’re out. Most of them will be foreigners, as well. If you have committed to a long-term stay, it is a safe bet to assume that around 90% of those people will not be there after a year or two.

I have had so many short-term friendships that I wonder if I will ever have a lasting one. This kinda sucks, actually, it sucks some big ole cashews. Trust me, you will reach a point where you will have no friends at one singularity. That’s a heavyweight.

For me, I felt like I became like a lost puppy, just looking for anyone to take me in (predators abound). And after the lost puppy stage, I became a hermit, only going out to travel to work and sometimes eat food (Food Panda and Grab Food are like a suffering, depressed person’s best friend 😅).

Finding Strength in the Struggles

You are probably reading this and giving those past versions of myself sympathy, wishing things had been better for me back then. Stuff your “sorrys” in a sack and save them for yourself, cause this may happen to you. I appreciate all the sympathy, but trust me, I don’t need it at this point. I believe that, because I didn’t have too many people to lean on, I was able to overcome these challenges by transforming that hardship into propelling motion.

I did have the privilege and good fortune of having attended therapy for years before coming to Thailand. This helped me develop techniques to handle situations like this. Now, before things reach the level I’ve reached, I believe incorporating these techniques into your daily life will help you avoid such situations or even come out of those situations looking shiny and brand new.

Meditation and Emotional Healing

Meditation has been my bread and butter for any emotional distress, and I would suggest learning how to meditate. It doesn’t take much, and to get started, you don’t need more than 15-30 minutes of your day.

Simply find a quiet place in your home or anywhere. Maybe play some very relaxing, slow, soothing music. Sit down in a comfortable position with your feet firmly planted on the floor. Starting, you can use this method. Close your eyes gently or leave them slightly open, focus on the middle of your forehead, just above the eyebrows, and begin to breathe and zoom in on your breath.

Just notice how it feels, where it is going in your body, and any sensations that may arise. But remember to always focus on the breathing. You will break concentration, and that’s perfectly normal. Gently nudge yourself back to focusing on the breath and be kind to yourself. A perfect meditation happens anytime you decide to sit and do it.

If you are starting, try doing it for five minutes at a time, about three times a day. The more you practice, the more your concentration will improve, and you will be able to extend your time to 10 minutes, 15 minutes, and beyond.

Journaling and Creative Outlets

Another technique I have used is journaling, and yes, writing your heart out about anything and everything that is on your mind and bothering you. Woooo! Does it feel good to just let loose and have at it?

Saying whatever it is you need to say or getting thoughts out that may have accumulated like the garbage in a first-year university student’s dorm room. You can do this for as long as you need. In my many journaling proceedings, I have stumbled upon solutions and comprehension of whatever had been gnawing at me.

If you are a creative person, I suggest writing a story or song, creating artwork, or engaging in any other activity that allows you to express the emotional turmoil you are experiencing. I got several albums’ worth of material for music from this 😅

Nature Walks, Fitness, and Healing Outdoors

The other techniques I utilize are physical activity and hugging trees. Working out can really help release that emotional distress. An intense workout, including some weights and cardio, is beneficial, but long walks can also be just as effective.

I have gone on many 7km, 8km, 9km walks around Bangkok to help bring me down. You can also do this in greener areas of the city — there’s something about those green leaves and colorful flowers that takes the edge off of whatever you are experiencing.

The places that I go to for my nature walks include Bang Krachao (Bangkajao), The Queen Sirikit Park, Rot Fai Park, Benjikitti Park, and Lumpini Park. There are others; you have to search for them using Google.

Community, Self-Care, and Moving Forward

Pain is something that we never actually get used to, but we don’t have to let it ruin our lives, mainly when we have emigrated to start new ones. It’s rough living in a new country once the honeymoon is over, yet it doesn’t have to remain that way.

I hope that my experience and advice will help whoever is reading this prepare themselves for what will inevitably happen in the future. This way, whatever you experience can be a pin prick versus actually getting shanked with a big knife.

Oh, one more thing I would like to add before closing out: find a community of people who share the same interests as you. Remember, many of us are alone, and yes, there is strength, power, and understanding in mastering loneliness, but we also need community and other human beings.

For suggestions on finding community, Iwould recommend using the Meetup app and plugging in your interests to see what comes up. Anything and everything is on there. Let’s galvanize ourselves and let the struggles build us, not tear us down.